God's Provision and Protection for his Princess!

Posted by Shawna at 8:18 PM



So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or
"What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?"
for the pagans run after all these things,
and your heavenly Father knows that you
need them. But seek first his kingdom and
his righteousness,and all these things will be
given to you as well.
Matthew 6:31-33



I want to share how my life has been blessed by choosing to obey my Heavenly Daddy! To the world the decision I made to cut back my work schedule in order to spend more time investing in the lives of my husband and three small kids seems ridiculous. Why would I give up a great income, incredible exotic trips and amazing recognition to be at home wiping bottoms, noses and countless spills? I want to share the journey that the Lord took me on over the last few years to get me to the place that he wants me to be. I'm sorry if it is wordy and long but the Lord has put this on my heart to share and so I will. It is with great joy and incredible passion that I share what God is doing. I have prayed since junior high, that God would make me into the woman that he wants me to be. I am so thankful that he has heard that prayer and that I am a work in progress.

The Conviction:
About two years ago our Pastor gave an awesome sermon about margin in your life. He talked about several different areas including financial margin and time margin. As I listened to his sermon I realized that for the first time Tim and I had financial margin but I had very little time margin. My heart heard this sermon and I knew that I needed to do something but how could I walk away from a job making the kind of money I was, the trips, the recognition? My company didn't offer part time as an option and even if they did should I really do it? Would we be okay on half of my income? The economy was in the tank and I had a job that most people would kill and die for and I wanted to cut back? Hadn't I worked my heart out to get to this position and level of security? I began to pray and feel even more convicted that I needed to be home more with my family. But, how?

Step #1
My sweet Heavenly Daddy heard the prayers of his little girl, his Princess and began to work. I really didn't see it at first but he began to take the first steps that would help me to follow him. He knew I really wanted to but it was hard and like a loving Father he stepped in to make it a little easier. First, for the first time in seven years of working for my company I had an absolutely horrible year! I couldn't sell anything. I was on a quick race to the bottom of the rankings. I began to doubt my own abilities and skills. I felt horrible! So like any good employee I worked harder to fix it. I worked long hours away from home in order to do a job that I had once excelled at and now only seemed to fail at. It was a horrible situation. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. For the first time in my life I couldn't fix it all. I had to admit that having three kids in four years, a full time job and managing our home when my sweet husband was out of town was sometimes more than I could handle. I was robbing Peter to pay Paul with my time and feeling like no one was getting the best of me. I continued to pray in desperation for an answer. I seriously thought I might need medication!

After much agonizing(and more talking about it than Tim ever wanted to do) I finally went to my boss and said I would like to look into part time (it had recently become an option that our company allowed, blessing #1). I was so worn out from underperforming that I decided even if I made less money, less emotional stress was worth it. That was how the Lord had been working in the first step because if I had continued to be successful I would have continued to lie to myself that I could do it all. Why would I want to leave if I was successful. He had to take me to the bottom so that I would be willing to consider what he knew I needed to do.

Step #2
Here's the amazing part.....they said yes! That an underperforming girl could leave her full time position and they would let her go part time! I should have been excited right? No way now I was terrified! Had I made the right decision, were my kids going to go hungry, would my husband resent me and most importantly would I ever be able to have my hair highlighted again (a girls got priorities right)? I got cold feet. I second guessed my self. I lied. I could really juggle it all. It would be okay. How were we going to work our Dave Ramsey plan and pay off our house if I went part time? More talking to Tim, who really just wanted me to do whatever would make me happy and stop talking about it all the time. So I did the only thing I could do and I went to my manager and said, .... "I think I made a mistake . I'll go ahead and stay full time." This is where God really gets amazing! My manager looked at me and said that there was not going to be a full time position in Oklahoma for me. The only option I had was part time. Wow! Is God cool or what?! He took the decision making power right out of my hands and made it so that the only option I had was to be part time. I had prayed for him to be obvious and he was!

The Blessing:
I was actually able to bargain a little and now work 60% which equals three days per week. Which means I am home more days than I work! Are we in financial ruin? NO! I can honestly say, now almost six months into it, that we are better off now financially than we were before. Amazing I know! God is so faithful! I also have an incredibly wise husband who reassured me the whole time that we would be okay.

How have we managed? First I decided that if I was going to do this I was going to be willing to make whatever cuts it took to make it happen. I was willing to be uncomfortable for the privilege of investing in my family. So we got intentional about our money. We made a few cuts in the extras, budgeted and stuck to it and prayed that our pennies would have babies in the bank. Did I mention that I now have an addition to couponing too? That is a story for another blog!

I now love going to work again and I love even more staying home with my three sweet treasures Cade, Coopie and Sweet Caitlyn Grace. I love the snuggles, the adventures and the teachable moments that happen everyday. I feel at peace! I know that I am right where God wants me to be. I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit would not give up on me and kept whispering to my heart that I needed to be home. For the first time since having kids I feel like I am investing in my children instead of just managing them. I am able to spend quality time speaking truth into their lives and showing them with mine that they are the most important things in my life. The most incredible girl, Natalie Kilbourne, once sent me a satement to hang on my bathroom mirror and it is how I want to live everyday of my life. It reads:

My ambition in life is to present the beautiful gifts of
Cade, Cooper and Caitlyn Grace
complete in Christ to my heavenly Father.

My career, paying off our house and exotic trips mean nothing when compared to what my real job is. Tim and I get one shot at raising our children. We only have them under our roof for 18 years and I want to be present and engaged for all of it. I also want to invest in my husband and give him the best of my heart and time and not just leftovers.

I hope that my honesty and openness is a blessing to you and if anyone is struggling with balance in life please call me because I can truly understand.

God Bless,

Shawna

P.S. I'm still getting my hair highlighted!




 

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